These are the thoughts that make me feel good this morning:
How can you get strong without ever facing adversity?
Facing adversity has you face yourself.
Facing yourself is getting to know yourself.
Knowing yourself is what helps you grow.
Now I can even say that, in the long term, I am glad that I had a tough race yesterday. (?). No really!
Yesterday, at Muskoka 70.3. I faced myself.
I am making this look dramatic now. I shouldn't! It was not that bad, I didn't crash, get insured or feel sick. I just had a tough, disappointing day on a beautiful, sunny, race course.
I placed 4th but was a ways from the lead and my times were not at all representative of what I can do in either sport.
I learned so much yesterday though, it is always on those days that you learn the most. I am not happy about certain thoughts that crossed my mind from the moment I came seventh out of the water to the moment I crossed the finish line. I constantly had to re-focus because part of me was very disappointed. I wanted to win and did not want it to go any other way.
I feel I should have been fighting harder, looking ahead and never looking back.
That is the athlete that I want to become. And I do believe that I will be changed by races like yesterday's. I will become tougher.
Swim exit and 300m hill run up to transition.
With team mate Brent Poulsen.
It is like everything at that race was pointing me in that direction. I was lucky to race along side Lisa Bentley, the greatest example of determination and mental strength. The woman who's strength and determination have never let anything stand in her way and a person who would fight against all odds. I am just getting to know Lisa and am very impressed.
Also competing was Laurel Wassner (Rebecca's twin sister), who overcame Lymphoma some years ago and is now back to racing pro and racing well. Our sport is made of people with such strong minds. It is a big inspiration, it is beautiful, and it makes it the perfect sport to help grow as a person.
To get back to yesterday,
Moments before the start of the race.
Before the race with sister Ariane and her husband Sean St-John.
Dave Cracknell, Husband of Lisa Bentley, was of great support and did a very good job with race organization.Coming out of the water.
Every race is a battle between the angel on your right shoulder and the demon on your left. The thing is, on some days, circumstances have the demon on your left get pretty excited!
Next time I have a day like this, I want to be re-focusing on the task, putting my head down, thinking about moving up, making every second count, believing in nothing else than the power of the effort. The most important thing in the long term.
The truth is, on a given day, as Justin (Parks) would say: - it is what it is- and now I know the real champion is the one who can just -suck it up- and keep on pushing AND keep on believing no matter what.
David McColm an amazing photographer (www.davidmccolm.com) and great guy!!! Sorry David, I didn't represent you in pictures as well as you did with me.
Starting today, I am going to do exactly that. I had a bad race so I will SUCK IT UP and keep on pushing. I am actually very motivated and hungry after yesterday. Hungry to race and train well and hungry to test not only my body but mostly my mind. I should have a great chance to do that very soon as I start my build up and another hard training bout before the big race.
A good race in Clearwater will taste that much better now. BACK TO WORK!!!!